How You Know its Time to Switch Dentists

Some might say I'm a kid at heart. I enjoy torturing my ever so patient, tolerant, and lovely roommate (I hope she reads this, I am so nice!!) with constant Disney trivia... which might be fun except... I mean... she doesn't know what movie Princess Jasmine is from... like... if you're reading this and also are oblivious as to the Princess's cinema placement... please, kindly step away from this blog.

Today my mother and I were at the mall. I got two new pairs of shoes (YES! #winning #JAPforlife #theWESTCHESTA) but the most intriguing part of our visit was the beautiful oil paintings we discovered in an art store, intricately depicting scenes from the most classic of Disney movies.... Beauty and the Beast, Snow White, Cinderella... it was magical... my mother almost had to physically snap me out of my euphoria so she could drag me to go look at swift army knife backpacks or some shit... of course I managed to find a TV monitor to entertain myself with vintage JT and the gang (otherwise known as NSYNC) TRL status music videos (miss ya CARSON!) so it wasn't too devastating to leave the artistic masterpieces... but still...

So it should come as no surprise to anyone that today when I walked into my dentist's office, I was the only non-teenager present who didn't have a toddler in tow. In fact, every time the office had called to confirm my appointment they had addressed me as Mrs. Levin... assuming I was... dare I say it... my own mother. I never corrected them. What would I say? "Actually, I'm 20 years old but still have an appointment to sit in your shark shaped chair and wear pink Minnie Mouse sunglasses while playing electronic connect four as fluoride drools out of my mouth." No, I'll let them see for themselves who I REALLY am. Besides, the look on their faces... well it makes it well worth it.

I've been making trips to the dentist a couple of times since I've been home... having a sweet tooth has done wonders for my docta's paycheck. The first time I went one of the receptionists immediately began telling me about how her 30 year old son still sees Dr. P.... he also still lives at home... it was lovely being compared with him. I'm surprised we weren't set up on a blind date... we seem to be made for each other!

This time around, I arrived, and was brought into a room so that I could (gasp!) have a cavity filled. Ouch! It was terrible timing, my smart college-graduate of a friend and I were supposed to meet for coffee, but socializing while novied up is quite the challenging task. Ultimately, we made it work. I LOVE A GOOD CHALLENGE.

So when I sat in the dentist's chair the Disney Channel was on and I hate to admit this (psh ya right) but I wasn't even going to complain. When the nurse practitioner (like I know thats not what she is but I'm drawing a blank on what they're called in Dental Land, so sue me) saw me sitting in the chair she immediately changed the channel. But not even to something exciting. HGTV. My Grandmother's obsession!

BRB phone alarm spontaneously going off, rlly annoying.

UGH that was rlly annoying.

While the dental nurse practitioner ladies were out of the room, I devised a devious plan. I looked to my left, and I looked to my right. I looked up! I looked down! I looked behind me. And someone pushed me off! What color did I see?

I took the remote control from off of the table in the middle of the dentist room, you know, the one where they examine, poke, prod, and hurt you. I flipped through the channels until finally, Bravo was on! Real Housewives of OC hit San Antonio. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.

Then the dentist came and started filling my cavity and it wasn't fun but then she saw what I was watching and we had a long conversation about Housewives and I realized I watch the same TV shows as my pediatric dentist and the girl sitting next to me is five years old and probably wants to be watching the Wiggles but instead I'm making her watch blonde babes get botox (apparently I'm spelling that wrong, embarrassing seeing as in 5th grade I wrote a current events report on botox and was asked to share it with the class... we all peek at some point, my friends...)

That was the wake up call. This is how you know when to switch dentists: if you are selfishly preventing children from simple joys that they so deserve to experience. There are only so many years in which the Wiggles are acceptable to indulge in. Why take that away from the Youth of the Nation by POD?

Peace, Love, and How You Know its Time to Switch Dentists.